this may be slightly gross

Potty training Greggory is like giving birth.

I often hear myself saying, repeatedly, "Push, Greggory! Push, Greggory! You can do it!!...."

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

And the waiting! He'll say, Mommy! I've got to go potty!!! It's like a rocket blasts off and we rush to the toilet! But then---nothin'. So we make up potty songs and go through several false alarms and sometimes he goes. Sometimes he doesn't.

And sometimes his water will break, but it will really be pee and then I have to clean it up.

I bought him a toy tractor. That's what started this whole potty business because I figured he had to earn it, I couldn't just give it to him. And for the most part it has worked great. He's a full-time undy-wearer now.

Being the third child you would think that I have this potty-training business all figured out. Well, you would be.... wrong. All I know is that when the mother is finally ready to have the carpet cleaner as a permanent fixture in her living room, then it is time to train the child.