Thursday, September 3, 2009

childproof

A couple of days ago Roman climbed up to the top of the fridge, retrieved the bottle of children's vitamins and then helped himself to the "candy". Oh, he also practiced his manners and shared with Greggory.

I was in the shower. Brooklyn was at school.

After discovering Greggory with vitamin residue all over his face and shirt, I calmly called poison control thinking that I should probably disguise my voice because I've called them so many times. I watched for the appropriate symptoms--diarrhea, vomiting, etc., but thankfully there were none and we live to celebrate another hospital-free day.

However, after discovering that Roman had opened the "childproof" bottle of vitamins with a pair of scissors my joy turned to despair. Is nothing safe in the house? After all, this was his third attempt at ignorant suicide; I thought I had learned my lesson and taken all the necessary precautions to keep danger away from my son. Apparently he takes that as a challenge to find the danger himself.

Am I such a bad mother, or is my son gifted in some sick way?

7 comments:

Hillary said...

If you're a bad mother, then I am, too! I often find my kids on top of the counter getting into the medicine cabinet. I caught my 7 year old trying to give my 2 year old cold medicine the other day. So, no, you're not alone, and your kids aren't the only monsters on the planet. ;)

Lee and Melody said...

You know what? When I was little, I decided that the cure for hiccups was Dimetapp, and every time I got them, I would DRINK DIMETAPP until they went away- I put away almost an entire bottle one time. Moms just do the best they can, and kids are surprisingly resilient! Maybe it would help to go back to the gross orange chewables...I would never take more than one of those puppies.

Brock and Kristina said...

Wow. I definitely vote for gifted. That most have taken some skills. Oh boy....I have so much to look forward too. There is no way you could be a bad mother....I worship you mom's with more than 2 kids. :) Hey, look at the bright side - it made for a funny post! (funny in hindsight of course) You might have to put all your medicine bottles behind lock and key with that kind of talent!

Allvira said...

Its not your fault, don't worry. Your child is growing and these are activities done by him/her. You should tell him to do well and of course you should keep your eyes on his activities. Guide him properly this time of growing.
Allvira
-----------------
Children’s Vitamins

Leserlee said...

I would say he's talented. You did what you could by thinking they were safe. But some kids...they got skillz.

Kodie Bear said...

Deacon opened my childproof bottle of ibuprofen in 30 seconds. Some kids just have that talent, and it sounds like Roman is one of them.

Amanda said...

HILARIOUS!

I loved the convo Brooklyn had with her pretend prince!